Crafting Vocabulary and Sentence Variety: Question 10
Syllabus W3
Read the sentence below.
"The old dog, who had not moved from the porch all summer, suddenly leapt up and bolted toward the gate."
(a) Rewrite the sentence so that the extra information about the dog ("who had not moved from the porch all summer") is set off using a PAIR OF DASHES instead of commas, to make the aside feel like a sudden interruption. [1]
(b) Rewrite the sentence again, this time setting off the same information using a PAIR OF BRACKETS (parentheses) instead of commas. [1]
(c) In one sentence, explain ONE difference in effect between using dashes and using brackets for this aside. [1]
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Worked solution
Assessment focus
This tests whether a candidate can control the punctuation around a parenthetical aside. The same piece of extra information can be set off with commas, dashes, or brackets, and each choice creates a different effect on how prominent that information feels.
Part (a): Dashes
Model: “The old dog, who had not moved from the porch all summer, suddenly leapt up and bolted toward the gate.”
A pair of dashes replaces the commas exactly, with no other change to the wording. Dashes tend to make an aside feel more noticeable and emphatic than commas do.
Part (b): Brackets
Model: “The old dog (who had not moved from the porch all summer) suddenly leapt up and bolted toward the gate.”
A pair of brackets replaces the commas exactly, with no other change to the wording. Brackets tend to make an aside feel quieter and more like background detail than either commas or dashes.
Part (c): The difference in effect
Setting the aside off with dashes makes it feel like an emphatic interruption, which suits the contrast with the dog’s sudden action, while setting the same aside off with brackets makes it feel like a minor, almost whispered side-note that a reader could skip without losing the main action of the sentence.
Common pitfalls specific to this task
- Writing “The old dog -who had not moved from the porch all summer- suddenly leapt…” with a single hyphen instead of a proper pair of dashes.
- Writing “The old dog, (who had not moved from the porch all summer), suddenly leapt…” which keeps the original commas as well as adding brackets.