Directed Writing: Transforming Texts: Question 2
Syllabus W4
You have been asked to write a formal letter to the manager of a local sports centre, on behalf of your school's football team, requesting a discounted rate for weekly pitch hire.
Which opening sentence uses the register most appropriate for this form, audience and purpose? [1]
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Worked solution
Assessment focus
This question tests whether a candidate can judge register against all three factors of a directed-writing task at once (form (a formal letter), audience (an unfamiliar professional making a business decision), and purpose (a courteous request for a discount)) rather than judging tone in isolation.
Why B is correct
Option B, “I am writing to enquire whether the sports centre would consider offering our school’s football team a discounted rate for weekly pitch hire”, is clear, courteous and businesslike. It states the purpose immediately, uses appropriately formal but natural phrasing (“I am writing to enquire whether…”), and treats the manager as a professional being asked a reasonable favour.
Why the distractors are wrong
- A uses spoken, informal register (“Hey!”, “maybe”, “that’d be amazing!”) that is far too casual for a formal written request to an adult the writer has not met.
- C is accusatory and confrontational (“completely unreasonable”, “must be done… immediately”), which is the wrong tone for a first request for a discount. It reads as a complaint, not an enquiry, and would work against the writer’s purpose.
- D opens politely but wastes the opening sentence on irrelevant small talk about the weather, delaying the letter’s real purpose, a feature real examiners penalise as padding rather than register control.
Mark scheme
- 1 mark for selecting B.
- 0 marks for any other option. No partial credit, since this is a discrete single-answer selection question.