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Narrative Composition: Question 7

Syllabus W1, W2

Structured 5 marks

Below is a flat, "told" description of a character trait:

"Ben was extremely competitive, and he hated losing even at small, unimportant games."

Write 2–3 sentences of a scene that SHOW this trait through Ben's specific action or behaviour, in a moment where he is playing a casual board game with friends, without using the words "competitive," "hated losing," or any close synonym. [5]

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Worked solution

Assessment focus

This tests the ability to characterise through specific action rather than stated feeling, showing a trait so a reader infers it, rather than telling them what to think.

Mark scheme (5 marks)

  • Specific action (2 marks): the scene includes a concrete, nameable moment of behaviour (e.g. disputing a score, refusing a draw, resetting the board for one more round) rather than vague description of effort.
  • Trait implied, not stated (2 marks): competitiveness is conveyed entirely through what Ben does, with no stated feeling and no close synonym for “competitive” or “hated losing.”
  • Proportionate to context (1 mark): the behaviour fits a casual, small-stakes game rather than reading as disproportionate anger.

Model excerpt

Ben re-counted the score twice, muttering that Priya must have miscounted somewhere. When she offered to just call it a draw, he shook his head and reset the board himself, already lining up the pieces for one more game.

Why this works

Re-counting the score, disputing the result, and refusing a draw in favour of an immediate rematch are all specific, observable actions that add up to competitiveness without the word ever appearing. The behaviour stays proportionate to a casual game among friends rather than tipping into anger.

Common pitfalls specific to this task

  • Writing “Ben was really competitive and couldn’t stand to lose, so he asked for a rematch,” which restates the trait directly with a near-synonym instead of showing it.
  • Writing “Ben flipped the board over and stormed off,” which is disproportionately extreme for a small, unimportant game and reads as a different trait altogether.