Narrative Composition: Question 9
Syllabus W1, W3, W5
Below is the setup paragraph of a story titled "The Final Length":
"Leo had trained for this race every morning for a year. Lane four, the 200m freestyle final, his best event, his best chance. The starter raised the pistol, and for a second, the pool went completely silent."
Write the complication paragraph (4–6 sentences) that follows, escalating the tension through a specific problem that develops LOGICALLY out of the swimming race already established (for example, a physical setback, a tactical error, or a mistake made under pressure), not an unrelated, contrived event unconnected to the race. [8]
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Assessment focus
This tests the ability to develop a plot complication that grows believably out of what has already been established, escalating tension step by step rather than introducing an arbitrary new problem or stating tension once without building on it.
Mark scheme (8 marks)
- Logical complication (3 marks): the problem is one that could plausibly arise from a swimming race itself (equipment, technique, pacing, a rival), not an unrelated, contrived event.
- Escalation (3 marks): the problem intensifies across the paragraph, each sentence raises the stakes further rather than the tension staying flat after a single statement.
- Concrete detail (2 marks): specific physical or sensory detail (stroke count, the feel of the water, a rival’s position) keeps the paragraph immersive rather than generic.
Model complication paragraph
The gun cracked and Leo dived clean, but his goggles caught the water wrong on entry, one lens filling with a stinging blur. He blinked hard, kept his stroke count, told himself it didn’t matter. By the second length it did: every turn cost him a half-second groping for the wall, and through his good eye he saw lane three pulling level, then ahead. His shoulders, so steady in every training session, began to burn in a way they never had before.
Why this works
Goggles filling with water is a specific, entirely plausible problem for a swimmer, not an event borrowed from outside the race. The paragraph escalates in clear stages (a minor irritation, then lost time at the turns, then a rival visibly overtaking, then unfamiliar physical strain) with each sentence building on the last. Concrete, race-specific detail (stroke count, groping for the wall, lane three) keeps the tension grounded in Leo’s own experience rather than told from outside.
Common pitfalls specific to this task
- Having the pool’s lights suddenly fail or an announcement interrupt the race, which is dramatic but has no logical connection to anything already established about the swim itself.
- Writing “Leo started to struggle and knew he was going to lose,” which states the complication once, in general terms, and never develops or escalates it across the paragraph.