Register and Tone for Audience and Purpose: Question 4

Worked solution

Assessment focus

This question tests the ability to rewrite a piece of writing in a more appropriate register and tone, while keeping its original content and purpose intact, one of the core practical skills tested throughout directed writing.

Part (a): Model rewrite

Good morning Ms Carter, I’m sorry to message you about this, but my laptop broke down yesterday and I wasn’t able to finish typing my essay. Would it be possible to have an extra day to hand it in? Thank you for understanding.

This keeps the same two pieces of content as the original, the laptop failure and the request for extra time, but replaces “hey miss”, “can u”, “the essay thing” and “lol” with a greeting, standard spelling, a specific reference to the essay, and a polite closing. It also softens “its not my fault”, which sounds defensive, into a simple, non-blaming explanation of what happened.

Part (b): Why the rewrite is more appropriate

The rewrite suits its audience (a teacher, who holds authority over whether the extension is granted and should be addressed with a baseline of courtesy the original lacks. It suits its purpose) a request is more persuasive when it sounds genuine and considered, rather than rushed and casual, which can come across as not taking the situation (or the teacher) seriously. It also reflects its form: a messaging app allows a shorter, more direct message than a formal letter would require, so the rewrite keeps some natural warmth (“I’m sorry to message you about this”) rather than becoming a stiff, letter-style request, while still cutting the slang and abbreviations that made the original feel careless.

Common pitfalls specific to this task

• A rewrite that fixes the greeting and spelling but keeps “lol” or “not my fault” has only partially shifted the register and tone.
• An explanation that only says “it sounds nicer” without naming which feature of language (greeting, removal of slang, softened explanation) achieves that, and why it matters for this particular audience and purpose.