Writing Task 2: Discussion (Both Views) Essay: Question 9
Syllabus W.task2
Some organisations make all employees' salaries open and visible to their colleagues. Other organisations keep individual pay strictly private.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
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Worked solution
Examiner notes: why this is a band 9 response
Task Response
The introduction paraphrases both positions and states a clear position (“the benefits of open salaries for fairness generally outweigh the discomfort they can cause”) with a sensible qualifying condition, sustained to the conclusion. Both body paragraphs are developed to comparable depth, each supported by a distinct, concrete example (Larkwood Analytics; a friend’s experience in publishing), so neither view is treated as a token mention.
Coherence & Cohesion
Topic sentences make the two-sided structure immediately visible (“Supporters of open salaries argue that…”, “Advocates of private pay counter that…”), and “on balance” signals the shift into a resolved conclusion. Reference devices such as “this disparity” and “those details” link ideas within paragraphs without repeating full phrases.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and natural for the topic (“asymmetric information”, “unhealthy comparison”, “salary bands”) and paraphrase is used effectively rather than repeating “salary” or “pay” mechanically in every sentence. Collocations such as “close a pay gap” and “damage morale” are used with complete accuracy.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
A wide range of structures is used with full control, including a defining relative clause (“colleagues who do not know the full context…”), a conditional-style qualifier (“provided the transparency is introduced carefully”), and a complex final sentence with a “so that” clause of result. Tense and agreement are accurate throughout, with no errors that would distract a reader.
Common pitfalls specific to this task
See commonMistakes above: the most frequent failure on this prompt is producing what is really a one-sided “benefits of transparency” essay, giving the case for privacy only a token sentence instead of a properly reasoned paragraph.