Descriptive Composition: Question 8

Worked solution

Assessment focus

This tests the ability to organise description spatially, moving deliberately from a wide establishing view to one close-up focus, rather than presenting a flat, unordered list of details at equal weight.

Mark scheme (7 marks)

• Wide establishing view (2 marks): the opening sentence(s) give a clear sense of the whole space before any single object is picked out.
• Guided narrowing (2 marks): the focus moves deliberately inward (by proximity, size or attention) rather than jumping randomly between unrelated objects.
• Close-up payoff (2 marks): the final object is described in specific, vivid detail that rewards the narrowing structure, rather than being named only in general terms.
• Purely descriptive (1 mark): no character or narrative action is introduced; any movement (light, dust) is atmospheric, not a plot event.

Model description (86 words)

Dust hung in slow drifts across the whole attic, catching the single shaft of light that fell between two roof beams onto stacks of boxes, a broken lampstand, and furniture draped in yellowing sheets. Closer to the light, a row of tea chests sat half-collapsed against the chimney breast, their contents spilling into shadow. On top of the nearest chest, half-buried under a fold of sheet, lay a single brass compass, its glass face cracked in a thin line across the needle, still pointing steadily north.

Why this works

The description opens with the whole room (dust, the single shaft of light, the general shapes of boxes and furniture), then narrows to one area (the tea chests near the light), then finally to one object (the brass compass) described in specific detail. Each sentence brings the reader physically closer, and the final image, a compass “still pointing steadily north” amid the clutter, is worth the structure’s build-up. No character enters the room and the only movement is dust and light, keeping the piece purely descriptive.

Common pitfalls specific to this task

• Naming several objects at the same level of detail throughout (“boxes, a lamp, a chair, some books”), so nothing stands out as the intended close-up focus.
• Ending on a generic object (“an old chest”) instead of a specific, vivid detail that makes the narrowing structure pay off.