Narrative Composition: Question 1
Syllabus W1, W2
Write an engaging opening (3–4 sentences) for a story titled "The Last Delivery", dropping the reader straight into a moment of tension.
Use an in medias res opening: begin in the middle of the action, with no scene-setting, weather description or background explanation before the tension begins. [8]
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Worked solution
Assessment focus
This tests whether a candidate can begin a story with genuine immediacy, starting inside a moment of tension rather than building up to one, and can imply that tension through concrete detail rather than announcing it.
Mark scheme (8 marks)
- Immediacy (3 marks): the opening starts inside the action with no scene-setting, weather or background explanation delaying the first sign of tension.
- Tension through detail (3 marks): tension is built through specific, concrete sensory or behavioural detail (an object, a sound, a restrained action) rather than a directly stated emotion.
- Controlled rhythm (2 marks): sentence length and rhythm are varied and purposeful (e.g. a short sentence for impact), sustaining the hook across every sentence rather than losing tension partway through.
Model opening (54 words)
The van’s back doors wouldn’t shut. Mo’s fingers slipped twice on the frozen latch before it clicked, and by then the security guard was already crossing the yard towards him, torch swinging in a slow, deliberate arc. He didn’t look up. He counted the seconds it would take to reach the driver’s door, and started walking, not running, not yet.
Why this works
The very first clause drops the reader into a problem already in progress (“The van’s back doors wouldn’t shut”), with no explanation of who Mo is or how he got there. Tension is built through concrete, physical detail (slipping fingers, a torch swinging in a “slow, deliberate arc”) rather than a stated feeling. The short sentence “He didn’t look up” and the clipped final clause “not running, not yet” control the pace and imply restrained panic without naming it.
Common pitfalls specific to this task
- Beginning with “It was a quiet evening when Mo arrived at the warehouse to make his final delivery,” which explains the situation instead of starting inside it.
- Writing “Mo was scared the guard would catch him,” which states the tension directly rather than letting action and detail imply it.